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What are you thoughts??
Thanks!
Jess
Thanks!
Jess
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SF Bay Area
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Re: public vs. private adoption
Thu, February 14, 2008 - 5:28 PMHi Jess,
Do you mean open vs closed? or Foster to adopt vs private agency?
My husband and are are doing Foster-to-adopt. -
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Re: public vs. private adoption
Fri, February 15, 2008 - 11:59 AMwell I was actually thinking foster care system vs. using an agency and sponsoring a pregnant woman who wants to adopt out their child. At least t hat's how I've come to understand the "private" adoption system. I've heard that their are pro's and cons about both and my hubby and I are considering adopting two siblings. It seems that the foster care system would be the way to go about it. I would love to hear other peoples experiences with both. So how is the foster-to adopt working for you?? What has your journey been like? -
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Re: public vs. private adoption
Fri, February 15, 2008 - 5:13 PMYes, we also are looking for a sibling pair. We are nothing but excited, but also prepared for a lot of difficulties and frustrations. It took us over a year to find an agency (which works through the foster care system) that we wanted to work with. When we found the agency, they had some hoops to jump through and now we are on our way and hopeful that we will begin the matching process by the summer.
Each step of the way, we are less scared and more confident that we have taken the right path for us. We have several friends that have been waiting for years for a private adoption to work out, two of those couples had the families of the mother change their minds at the last minute. We know that it is likely that our kids will have some pretty severe issues, but lots of kids do whether they are adopted or not.
The agency that we are working with has lots of built in support and we have a community of people to help raise our kids...I feel lucky to have this opportunity and I am so looking forward to a life with kids. -
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Re: public vs. private adoption
Fri, February 15, 2008 - 5:15 PMBy the way, with a name like goofball jess, I think you have just the right attitude to do foster to adopt and will make a great mom :) -
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Re: public vs. private adoption
Fri, February 15, 2008 - 7:00 PMThanks for the support De-Anna, ;)
We are just starting our journey and trying to decide which way to go. I also can't wait to be a mommy--although I'm sure it will be quite a shock when it happens! So how did you go about trying to find an agency? If you don't mind me asking, what kinds of things were you looking for? We are so in the beginning of our process. Are you working with a lawyer? -
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Re: public vs. private adoption
Sat, February 16, 2008 - 10:44 AMWe just started talking to people about it and getting recommendations. I would say 75% of the people that we know have a relative or friend who has adopted in some way or anohter. Once you get in touch with a few of those people, it opens up all kinds of other people that those people know. So, I just followed up on a few of those leads until we found the right fit. It turned out to be the neighbors of some friends, who are now mentors to us. The Berkeley Parents Network (parents.berkeley.edu/) is also a great resource with a lot of discussion about this topic.
We did an orientation at A Better Way and with Alameda County and ultimately decided to go with an agency called Adopt A Special Kid (www.aask.org), which works with a number of counties in the California.
The agency will provide all of the legal support that we will need for our fostering and adoption and it is absolutely free. So, no we are not working with a lawyer, just our agency social worker.
By the way, I have a blog that I started, in part to write about our adoption process. I just started it, so there is only 1 entry that pertains to adoption, but within the next few weeks, I expect there to be a lot more.
www.gardensofresistance.com
Also, an acquaintances blog, in part about her private adoption process. I am sure there are other blogs out there, too!
waitingforatrain-linda.blogspot.com/
All the best,
D -
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Re: public vs. private adoption
Sat, February 23, 2008 - 4:56 PMHey DeAnna,
I just wanted to thank you for all the info. I have managed to get a lot of my questions answered by looking on the Berkeley parents network and also just have a few places to look in terms of foster-adoption. It's a bit daunting. I guess we are just at the tip of the ice-berg, but it seems like there is so much when it comes to trying to figure out which way is the best way for us to go! So how did you decided to go with AASK? -
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Re: public vs. private adoption
Thu, February 28, 2008 - 2:54 PMThe factors that most made us attracted to AASK were
Parents that reminded us of us recommending them strongly.
Quick responsiveness when we had questions.
They were the first organization to treat us as real people rather than just some random person on a call list.
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Re: public vs. private adoption
Sun, February 24, 2008 - 9:30 PMThought I'd posted on this thread before, but I guess I'm a ditz!
I have two wonderful, fabulous, amazing, beautiful children (did I mention they were fabulous?) that came into my life through fost-adopt. It was a real roller-coaster with Jake (now 7 1/2) and smooth sailing with Emme (now 5). What a difference. You never know. But it was worth it all. We also (my ex-husband and I) fostered a little girl we hoped to call our own, but her paternal grandmother showed up when she was 6 months old, and the agency had made some mistakes, so she was able to obtain custody. But that's okay now. I was devastated for a while. Nearly everyone we worked with was wonderful. I made some true friends through the journey.
Both kids were drug exposed, but really, there's no guarantee they wouldn't have been even with a private adoption. I have friends who adopted a little boy through a private adoption and it turned out that he tested positive at birth. My two are extremely healthy. Jake has recently been diagnosed with ADHD, primarily inattentive type, and I think we'll take Emme in eventually for testing. They know they had "tummy mommies" who couldn't take care of them because a judge decided they were too sick to take care of babies. When they're older I'll give them more details.
